Self-awareness in the dark

Self-awareness is an amazing onion to peel and truly there are even times it may bring out a tear. It is of course quite difficult to really reflect on ourselves, to see things we are blind to, be that on purpose or by no intentional fault of our own.

However, in life so far there have been a few instances where I felt awareness was thrust onto me, whether I wanted it or not. One of these types of instances is the experience of fear, fear of something about to happen or coming my way rather more quickly than I want it to.ee34ab1be8ce09f3eed04746a01e50cd

These are naturally a bit different for each person, we do not all share the same anxieties. For me it, has included fear of rejection, fear of loss, fear of death, fear of life-altering consequences and fear of a certain existence.

And during times when such things came to visit my thoughts, they brought a small gift with them which I didn’t always notice, a bit of self-awareness delivered to my door. In the run up of anxiety and fear I see the things I might regret, I realise the things I may not regret as much as I thought. Afterwards, I see myself dealing with the realities one way or another. I find new strength in one area but perhaps realise the expected strength isn’t there in another.

There are many sayings about finding out the true mettle of someone during bad times, but no so many point out the learning that can and should happen during these as well. In a way it is a stress test of our growth, you do not grow as a person to only deal with positive and pleasant things. Growth also exists in the unpleasant dealings, similar to how stepping outside your comfort zone can stretch you much more than any daily known experiences.

So I feel the lesson in learning is: The next time you find yourself in a difficult situation, when life is hard or fear is visiting, don’t distance yourself from yourself. Stay as open as the easy days and learn what might be learned. Come out the other side with refined direction and knowledge of yourself, and appreciate yourself on your journey.

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What’s playing: Postmodern Jukebox – Rude (Cover)
Where to next: Bantam (cable ski)
What’s news: July has 2 work trip surprises in store
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